Life is..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

I know He will never breaks His promise. And thus I will not stop praying until He answers it. That faith I have for Him, should be a solid one without any doubts. But as His imperfect servant, there are times when it starts to shake.

Saya kah yang tidak cukup bersabar menanti keputusan pasti? Atau permintaan itu bukan yang terbaik di waktu ini? Looking at the condition now, I am pretty sure that this is the best one. Tapi jawapan itu terhenti bersama perkataan ini..

"Bersabarlah..kerana Dia sedang mempersiapkan yang terbaik buat kamu.."

Jika kesabaran itu harga bagi sebuah harapan dan doa, maka itu lah yang akan saya genggam kukuh. erat. tanpa lepas. penuh yakin. semampu pasti.

Cuma berharap, hati tidak goyah menanti sebuah kepastian.

ps: I  need my BFF badly to help me see through all the possibilities and options available. *kerut dahi berfikir.

during sleepless night..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

okay. this is the third night, I woke up during midnight. dan hilang rasa kantuk yang sepatutnya wujud demi untuk membolehkan mata terpejam dan otak berehat.

This is gonna affect my body clock later. not a good sign. By the way, im in love with all the songs in Glee. I know. I know. Orang dah lama suka baru sibuk nak suka jugak. kan?

Let's enjoy with the selected youtube videos. Look for the meaning in between the lyrics. *winks!

And oh! there is something useful I want to share..

"Giving is a miracle that can transform the heaviest of hearts. Two people, who moments before lived in separate worlds of private concerns, suddenly meet each other over a simple act of sharing. The world expands, a moment of goodness is created, and something new comes into being where before there was nothing.

To often we are blind to this everyday miracle. We build our lives around accumulation--of money, of possessions, of status--as a way of protecting ourselves and our families from the vagaries of the world. Without thinking, we begin to see giving as an economic exchange--a subtracting of something from who and what we are--and we weigh it on the scales of self-interest.

But true giving is not an economic exchange, it is a generative act. It does not subtract from what we have; it multiplies the effect we can have in the world.

Many people tend to think of giving only in terms of grand gestures. They miss the simple openings of the heart that can be practiced anywhere with almost anyone.

We can say hello to someone everybody ignores. We can offer to help a neighbor. We can buy a bouquet of flowers and take it to a nursing home, or spend an extra minute talking to someone who needs our time.

We can take ten dollars out of our pocket and give it to someone on the street. No praise, no hushed tones of holy generosity. Just give, smile, and walk away.

If you perform these simple acts, little by little you will start to understand the miracle of giving. You will begin to see the unprotected human heart and the honest smiles of human happiness. You will start to feel what is common among us, not what separates and differentiates us.

Before long you will discover that you have the power to create joy and happiness by your simplest gestures of caring and compassion. You will see that you have the power to unlock the goodness in other people's hearts by sharing the goodness in yours.

And, most of all, you will find the other givers. No matter where you live or where you travel, whether you speak their language or know their names, you will know them by their small acts, and they will recognize you by yours. You will become part of the community of humanity that trusts and shares and dares to reveal the softness of its heart.

Once you become a giver you will never be alone."

-Simple Truth by Kent Nerburn-

Ps: Please note that you will always be my special lil giver and that you're not alone..will never be..insya Allah. *wink!

Dear God, can time stop for a while? please?

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

My head is full with work and planning..Quality and Production..man, I really need to sit down the whole day and start planning for the whole Quality activities and decide clearly what I need my team to do. Because apparently, that is the first item written in my KPI.

How I wish I could stop the time for 3 days and finish-up all the documentation for this!

and people still have not seen anything in progress yet.

it's breaking..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

into million pieces...

don't ever bother to take up the pieces and stick 'em back together.

 It is not gonna be the same. ever again..

I am tired. and I have had enough.

I am not perfect. no doubt. 

I am not that great. I realize that too.

You can go to your perfect life and perfect friends without having to look back. 

Because apparently,

 I have no guts to ever look back to what I am leaving now..

What's done is done. and what should be said, have been finally said.

Thank you for your kindness all these while...

 It was very much appreciated.

I'll note them. perfectly in my red velvet diary.

hiburan I

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

al kisah......

week 1

A: psst....psst....sini la kejap.

Gadis X: err..(buat muka serba salah..nak jalan terus ke nak berhenti kat stesen berkenaan)..

A: Awak ni....sini la kejap.

Gadis X: nak ape? (buat muka annoying-apa-masalah budak kecik-ni?)

A: nak minta no telefon awak boleh?

Gadis X: huh? err...err...(cuba cari alasan)

A: ala...takkan tak boleh kot? bukan nak buat apa pun. nak kawan je..

Gadis X: eh, tak payah la...nak buat apa? bukan ada benda penting pun..(cepat-cepat larikan diri)

A: (muka masam tak puas hati)

Gadis X: (sumpah aku tak lalu jalan ni dah lepas ni. double cross!)

week 2

A: awak sini kejap.

Gadis Y: eh? saya?

A: angguk2.

Gadis Y: bukan awak patut cakap dengan dia ke? (sambil tunjuk ke arah Gadis X)

Gadis X: (oh no. disaster! kenapa lah aku lupa budak kecik ni ada kat sini?)...pandang sekilas dan terus berjalan ke arah lain.

Mr U: ape hal nye tu? (memandang ke arah Gadis Y & A sambil tersengih-sengih)

Gadis X: entahla. malas nak ambil tahu. (buat muka annoying)

tiba-tiba...

Gadis Y: X, saya ada benda nak cakap ni.

Gadis X: ha, kenapa? (muka pelik)

Gadis Y: tu, budak A tu dia kirim salam. (gelak besar)

Gadis X: huh? (what.....?????.....muka bengkek)

Mr U: kirim salam?? (pandang Gadis X sambil ketawa besar)

Gadis X: xyg$%^&*.........(muka stress)

Mr U: lain kali....ambil kertas, tampal kat belakang. Tulis besar-besar; "Saya dah ada orang punya." (ketawa sambil tekan perut)

Gadis Y: tak, patut tulis macam ni: "Single but NOT AVAILABLE". (sambil ketawa besar)

Gadis X: tak. sepatutnya saya kena kahwin cepat-cepat. baru tak kena kacau lagi. (sambil picit dahi)

**ada sebab kenapa Islam suruh kahwin awal. this is one of the reason.

just some updates

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Okay. Selamat sudah bersahur bersama home made pizza. Tak. Beli aje dekat pasar malam petang semalam. *senyum. Tak mengapa. Nanti satu masa saya akan belajar juga bagaimana untuk membuat pizza! 

Sebenarnya jam 830 nanti saya harus pergi ke Office. Harus kerana hari ini bukan waktu kerja. Tapi terpaksa datang kerana komitmen. Anyway, saya sempat menggodek-godek twitter dan terjumpa lah dengan satu quote dari siapa-entah-tak-ingat-nama.

Saya re-tweet kembali di twitter saya. Itu lah yang sedang berlaku dalam realiti hidup saya buat masa ini. Kadang-kala saya bertanya sendiri, apa yang saya cari sebenarnya? Kesempurnaan? Physical appearance? Stability? Agamanya?

Takdir telah menemukan saya dengan insan-insan yang mempunyai sifat-sifat di atas. tapi entah kenapa rasa itu tidak hadir. The excitement in the early stages itu pasti ada. It is an exciting phase kan untuk mengenali orang? I do love the adrenalin rush. Tapi entah kenapa it fades away once the other side starts to change the rhythm.

Perhaps i dont like it to change phase too fast? Bila difikir-fikirkan semula, perkara yang paling diperlukan di dalam sesuatu perhubungan ialah sense of security. But they failed to make me feel it. Too lil time, too much promises. Itu bukan zamannya lagi buat saya.

I've been there. In fact the past relation (though it didnt worked out anyway) took me a year to take it to another phase from friendship basis. in-calculated risk? I will never take it. Seriously. The reason of why I accept my ex proposal was because he was able to deliver his sincerity very well and provide me the feeling of security and trust. Of course there would be hiccups along the way and some fiction loss did happened. But that what made us a grown ups. We're too young, too many commitments (besides the study), too little time to fit each other's in the frame.

But hey! that doesn't mean I'm giving up on love tho I am still single now. *laugh. Just let it comes naturally without any external force. in fact I am already blessed with unconditional love from my chenta hati. My family, and friends. you know who you are. xoxo.. *smile.

Alhamdulillah..

career wise; I am still climbing up the ladder. wishing that there is an elevator or super duper fast lift to go up, high. please! *tutup mata dan wishing hard.

" dunia ini terlalu luas untuk berada statik di takuk yang sama. "

some thoughts

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

it is hard when we don't really know what kind friendship to expect when both parties have different ways of understanding the term. but i guess, along the way it is not that hard to understand someone. their behavior, personality. when they can't be frank the way you expect them to be, observant is what you need.  to truly understand who they really are.

life is always full of choices, and it depends on us which one to choose. i guess i'm just being a coward hiding behind this thick wall. the very first step is always the biggest challenge ever. maybe being so precise is not needed though the probability of success will be 50-50. or i'm just not really ready to leave my comfort zone yet. perhaps so.

finish watching secret garden. even better than personal taste. had me thinking about something that i had truly forget.

ps: a draft that should be posted last year..but can't remember in september or october. kot..

mixed feelings

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam.

Beberapa hari ini, entah kenapa begitu banyak peristiwa  terjadi yang membuatkan saya duduk termenung. apart of being just a plain normal girl,  some things happened and knock me off. pintu hati bagai terketuk semula, untuk mencari serpihan-serpihan yang hilang.

satu ketika saya pernah mengalami kehilangan yang amat perit, untuk mendapatkan kembali sesuatu yang terlalu berharga.

perjalanan takdir kehidupan seorang insan itu rupanya terlalu indah susunannya. mengapa saya katakan begitu? kerana pada tahun ketiga, saya mendapat jawapan yang selama ini dinanti-nanti. kekeliruan yang pernah saya rasakan dulu terjawab dengan tersusun indah, pada hari yang tak pernah disangka-sangka.

Allah tetaplah perancang yang terbaik. biar bagaimana sempurnanya apa yang kita rancang dari neraca pandangan kita, tetap tidak akan mampu menandingi perancangan Dia, yang Maha Mengetahui segala yang telah berlalu, sedang berlaku dan yang bakal terjadi.

Pernah satu ketika, saya bertanya sendiri. Untuk apa setiap perkara ini berlaku dalam hidup saya? What are the significants that they will give me at the end of the day? Because I cant see anything beneficial from them..everything i see is negativity.

But then, I forgot. That I don't have such wisdom to interpret His actions and perfect planning. I may have knowledge that with His permission and consent, I gained. But wisdom? It is something that goes beyond knowledge. It is a combination of broad knowledge and vast experience. And, not all people can have this. Because it requires not only a brain to function well, but also a heart. one with purity. and crystal clear 360 view without being influence with clouds of emotions.

Dan kerana saya mengerti, bahwa tiada satu pun yang Allah izinkan dan ciptakan itu untuk sia-sia..setiap yang diizinkan Dia, pasti ada bicara sebaliknya untuk saya..

Yang pasti ibrahnya akan menjadi kutipan berharga buat saya menghadapi hari-hari esok yang mungkin lebih mencabar..

love, from Gemas

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam and afternoon!

Salam maulidur rasul..and happy hols to all. *smile.


Btw, recently my broadband went cazy. It seems like there is no signal available and this has been like this for the past few weeks. sigh. serious terasa seperti katak bawah tempurung. eventhough i have my blackberry that is complete with data plan, it's just dont feel the same like when you're surfing using lappy. and yeah, it's limited!

nanti nak tukar yang baru. *raised eyebrows.

anyway, i have just realized that i have not set my twenty twelve goals and resolutions yet on paper. but roughly i have set them in mind. and surprisingly two of them have been successfully implemented or in realization phase.

but my utterly important resolution this year is still the measurable phase. the target is to be accomplished by end of this year. hopefully this can be done. amin~

twenty twelve wishlist?

two of them has been done. perfectly! alhamdulillah. i guess at this age, i have become more realistic. at least, better than during my early twenties. but still i need to overcome one of my weaknesses. asap. cuba untuk puaskan hati semua orang even if it means doing things i dont favor in the first place. it is really hard. to be honest. atau pun baik tak kena tempat. phewh!

hopefully this can be eliminated successfully just as my successful project eliminating waste in production. *tak sama, just taking the concept. overly self sacrificing is really the best way jeopardizing your own life. should learn to ensure my rationality wont be override by emotion. anymore. this year.

we're gonna have doa selamat and barbeque this evening. celebrating my lil bro and couzzie's birthdays! in Gemas.

gemas map

*and i forgot to get them presents! *patting forehead. not a good big sister, huh? adoyai.

never mind. can always have post-birthday prezzies. *wink.

oh btw, i found this one pantun in one of my cousin's lit book. (i really miss literature subject during high school!)..it is perfectly rhythm and well written.~


Mengkuang konon kayu Patani,
Tersandar pada kayu kelat;
Tebuang sudah rupanya kami,
Bagaikan ikan di luar belat.

-end-