crazy month of the day

In the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

as salam.

i decided to write back here. in twenty twelve. fuh.. *tiup angin keluar daripada mulut. aku rasa aku kena get a straight mind. susah betul bila kepala otak ni mudah berubah-rubah. tapi kalau fikir-fikir balik, itu disebabkan inconsistency aku dalam beribadah. kan?

rindu nye dengan mak dan abah. rindu call lah. kenapa aku dok merungut rindu-rindu? kalau dah sangat2 rindu aku pergi buat kerja lain, memanglah otak akan senget dan tak center. tahu. tapi tak buat. is this consider as stupid?

boleh tahan la. hurm. aku pening. aku rasa aku dah banyak sangat fokus kehidupan aku involve dalam kehidupan orang lain dan tak plan apa-apa pun untuk diri sendiri instead. penyakit lama ni rupanye belum pulih lagi.

itu lah masalah aku agaknya. aku dah 26 dah. tak percaya? tapi itulah hakikat yang aku kena telan. dah masanya berhenti untuk berfikir macam budak-budak dan start buat kerja macam orang dewasa selayaknya.

dah tak perlu nak berfacebook bagai. kecuali kalau penting. dah tak perlu nak berfikir yang mcm-mcm mcm dulu. rancangkan kehidupan aku sebaik-baiknya.

kan aku nak kahwin dah bulan 12 ni? (insya Allah). lebih baik penuhi hidup dengan aktiviti-aktiviti yang berfaedah. tapi aku rasa aku masih fail lagi nak handle friction dan masalah. macam mane ye?

dan aku tak suka sikap aku yg kalau ade problem akan tentu2 nye withdraw daripada sekeliling. damn! i hate this habit.

mulai sekarang aku kena take charge and be responsible for ape2 yg aku kena bertanggungjawab.

the very first resolution for twenty twelve.

bertanggungjawab utk jg dr sdr dan life sdr. align to what i want. dan begitu juga w related ppl. a promise to be keep.

second resolution: never let others to decide for me. and anything regarding my life. nobody hv that privilege except me.

Yours Truthfully,Misz iNz

~.the unwavering faith.~

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

a blissful weekend to starts with and hopefully til the end. recently, i came across this one old song. once a number one hits. "tears in heaven by eric clapton". it is a very beautiful song. indeed.

at first when i looked at the official video clip (as per claimed in youtube) and compared the lyrics, i knew there is more beyond the love between a man and a woman as shown in the clip. that is when i learned the real story about this song (i know...ketinggalan zaman gile kan? better late than never~)



this remind me of my late brother. i really miss him though. always. i guess until the last breath, i will still miss him. al fatihah.

like eric clapton, i guess that song has been my special favorite song ever besides this one (arwah's favorite song). i used it as message ringtone personalized for my parents.




ps: hopefully i can sing it with my dearest brother while he plays the guitar..one day. ;)

2011, a look back. 2012, a step forward..

in the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

As salam.

*smile.

ahem..it has been a while since i posted my last entry. when was it? yeah, in 20 something December (pardon my broken English.) there are so many things that i wanted to share. but come to think about it, it would be preferable if i just keep it in my personal journal. (call me outdated, but i still prefer this outdated way of keeping important memoirs, events and knowledge) you can't just simply share everything to public. i would rather share them with selective people, in which i get to choose them myself. Because those people are definitely people that are important and close to my heart. thus, forever my sweethearts. insya Allah.

Actually I have stop writing ever since i got to know this blogging thing. however, it turned out to be more crap written than beneficial knowledge. and sometimes they get too personal. macam share tentang what really happen between you and your significant other. lepas tu get mushy and lovey dovey feelings. LOL. but hey, that was during my early years! 

I will definitely never write that kind of thing again in my blog! sigh. 

twenty eleven was a challenging year for me. that was when i started my career, learn to stabilize and balancing my life. it wasn't easy. very stressful indeed. i've shed tears for so many times. for so many reasons. and mostly due to working life. (cengeng kan? nak buat guane..) but that was the best way to release the pressure inside. 

that was the year where i learned a lot bout love, appreciation, friendship and bonding. twenty ten, i made many friends but none of them really stay. not that i blame them because apparently people come and go in our life. but we decided which one that should stay beside us. forever.

and none of them were chosen. 

no. i am not being arrogant or perhaps egocentric. it is not that easy to find someone that fit us. wholly. some people, we can talk about this stuff. but not the other stuff. or they don't listen well. they tend to hear, most of the time. heh. (and i did that too sometimes! sebab penatlah menjadi pendengar setia without being acknowledged. at least)

back to the topic, my twenty eleven ended even though not in a very good way (because i didn't manage to pass the level i put on myself previously in the early months that year) masih terkejar-kejar lagi sana sini. still frowning and sweat the small stuff. T_T . my bad. but i got  very special presents from Him. 

kawan baik yang jauh di mata kembali di sisi. dan kehadiran adik yang sangat istimewa di hati. dan itu telah melengkapi sebahagian kehidupan saya. and i decided to make them stay in my life. forever. insya Allah.

jadi, 2012 ini akan dimulai dengan beberapa perancangan. personal and working life. both. just to ensure smoother self-development and gear-up my performance's speed. nah, saya tak akan terangkan dengan terperinci di sini. this is going to be a platform of my summary of what had happened to me. 

ps: thank you for the encouragement to jot down/write up important things in journal. very much appreciated!

pss: please forgive my ignorance. i am bad in explaining my true feelings and insensitive about  small things and minor details. but you guys definitely are special and important people in my life! sumpah. tak tipu. *senyum. 

one of the unforgettable moment in 2011  *wink.